Thursday, November 30, 2017

Ölmönger Special: Ölmönger's Calendar for Christmas 2017

A year ago I taunted the idea of a beer advent calendar heavily without remorse. Well, one year hasn't changed me a bit: there will be no self-made nor bought beer calendar with a beer to drink for each of the first 24 days of December 2017. I'll probably enjoy a beer now and then during the month, but they probably aren't so called calendar beers. Occasionally they can be, but that's pure coincidence.

In addition to the commercially available foreign beer calendars (like Mikkeller, To Øl, Saveur Biere, Boxbeers and so on), the one and only Finnish beer shop Pien put together its own beer calendar, that became an instant success and originally sold out very quickly. Despite the cold facts:
  • Every bottle has max 4,7 % abv beer -> Question: How about the flavour?
  • All 24 bottles are from different Finnish microbreweries. -> Question: How about the quality?
  • The beer calendar cost 119 €, i.e. approx. 4,96 € per bottle. -> Question: How about the value for price?
But let's not judge before we know. The fellow blogger at JaskanKaljat will open the calendar doors and rate each beer every day until Christmas Eve. Jaska's blog is in Finnish - so learn some Finnish, perkele!
The one and only true American beer calendar?
Instead of buying the Pien or any other commercial calendar or putting together/making someone put together one of my own, I carefully selected 24 good to great brews from the blog's backlog. The backlog has grown ridiculously long during pretty silent last months, so having an artificial beer calendar is a way to clear it up quickly. The beers in the calendar have been savoured during this fall (August - November), so the calendar could be called "Best of Fall '17" collection.

I don't recommend anyone to drink the beers that pop up in the blog on a daily basis, since the beers are somewhat strong (always over the magical Finnish 4,7 % abv barrier - many times hugely over the magical barrier), and at least I consider drinking one that strong beer daily for 24 days in a row as one form of alcoholism. So, if you like my choices, please save your liver and at least some of the beers for later. If you don't like my choices, stick to the bulk lager you're used to.

That's it for now. The fun starts tomorrow.

Ölbeat

Wise people see beer advent calendars as utter crap. Understandably, some might interpret them as "adults' way of preparing for the season". My advice to those adults, who really need to "tune up for Christmas all December and even October-November" and "let the Xmas spirit flow to every corner of the home and to the neighbours, too", goes: Eat shit and...

Ozzy Osbourne: Bark at the Moon (YouTube)

From the 1983 album Bark at the Moon, the song was written by Ozzy Osbourne, Jake E. Lee and Bob Daisley.

Monday, November 27, 2017

Skitbit Nov 2017: Stadin Whale Ale & Open House Paradoxale

Bad luck. Had two bad beers from Finnish breweries during one evening session couple of weeks ago. Since I've become rather picky with beer that's nowadays so rare occasion that they both deserve to be introduced in this one Skitbit post.

***

Brewery: Stadin Panimo
Country: Finland
Style: American Pale Ale
Abv: 5,6 %
@RateBeer
What about the beer?
Colour is clear golden orange with a 2-finger thick natural white head. Aroma has lemon, fruit candy and malts. Taste starts with strongly, piny and fruity bite. Salty bitter grapefruit takes over with spicy piny and sweet orange tones. Towards the end herbal pine and bittersweet citrus get mixed. Aftertaste has fruity bitter pine and strongly herbal, a bit harsh dryness.

Piny and harsh American Pale Ale. First mouthfuls are fruity and decent, but then we get more and more of pine and herbs. The freshness has died. Slight disappointment, though Stadin Panimo has had some variation in the quality of their brews.

Skitbit

The name of the beer, whale ale, makes one expect something huge. Well, it's tough enough to brew a huge American Pale Ale but when even the mediocre is too much, we'll have to pick some pompous but meaningless music to accompany the beer. Yes, there certainly is a lot of declaration in Ultra Bra's songs but mostly it's crap. Picked this one because in the lyrics old Helsinki, the capital of Finland and the home city of Stadin Panimo, is compared to Soviet Union - and I kinda like the comparison.

Ultra Bra: Helsinki (YouTube)

From the 1996 album Vapaaherran elämää, the song was written by Kerkko Koskinen and Anni Sinnemäki.

***

Brewery: Open Water Brewery
Country: Finland
Style: India Black Ale
Abv: 6,1 %
@RateBeer
What about the beer?
Colour is black with a huge fluffy tan head. Aroma has orange, pineapple and sweet liquorice. Taste begins with herbal bitter, muddy roast. Muddy roast and herbal piny bitterness take over with some grapefruity hints in the background. No spectacular changes towards the end. Aftertaste is very earthy, bitter and dry.

India Black Ale completely ruined. New brewery for me, some expectations, but in the end, breweries from Åland have yet a long way to impress my taste. After a couple of mouthfuls, the rest of the bottle found its way to the sewage system.

Skitbit

In the mainland, the people of Åland are sometimes compared to the beloved citizens of Finland's western neighbour, the "dumb" Swedes. Probably because Swedish is the official language of Åland and the culture of the archipelago is somewhat closer to Swedish culture than Finnish. Well, I find both the Ålanders and the Swedes a lot happier nation than the Finns, so probably there's some point in the comparison. Swedish music industry has been and is internationally more successful than Finnish - that probably goes with breweries, too. However, I've always disliked the music from the first superstar band from Scandinavia, so I picked a song that can be interpreted here as a cry for help from the Åland breweries.  

ABBA: S.O.S. (YouTube)

From the 1975 album ABBA, the song was written by Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus and Stig Anderson.

Monday, October 30, 2017

Skitbit Oct 2017: Sonnisaari APA

Brewery: Sonnisaari (in Finnish)
Country: Finland
Style: American Pale Ale
Abv: 4,5 %
@RateBeer
What about the beer?
Colour is hazy golden orange with a large natural white head. Aroma has grapefruit, lemon and mild pineapple. Taste begins with bitter grapefruit bite. Rough grapefruit and spicy pine take over with herbal side tones. Towards the end really bitter pine and strong herbal flavours take over. Aftertaste has heavily bitter pine and somewhat harsh dry herbs.

Roughly bitter and piny American Pale Ale. The good thing is that despite the low abv there's character in the brew. Tha bad side is that the character is really rough, harsh and possibly a bit earthy. Not so impressed but not very disappointed either. If Sonnisaari makes a miss, I'm glad that it's with this style.

Ölbeat

Since Sonnisaari has, despite it's rather short existence, become one of my trusted Finnish breweries, one miss won't spoil our relationship. On the other hand, the song I picked is one "half a hit" after a long line of bad misses from this band. The only thing wrong is that it kinda pays respect to another Finnish band Yö which has always sucked big time. 

Popeda: Helvetin Pitkä Perjantai (YouTube)

From the 2017 album Haista Popeda!, the song was written by Jimi and Costello Hautamäki. 

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Sessio #1 (Oct 2017): Finnish keskiolut

This post is a part of Sessio, Finnish beer bloggers' monthly posts on the same topic. The topic is selected by a monthly changing host. This topic was selected by Tuopillinen, who will wrap up the Sessio posts in his blog. I will take part in Sessio whenever the subject feels nice and I have time to write a post.

"In Finland we have this thing called reilu meininki." According to modern legend, the popular phrase was first used in the 1981 Finnish rock documentary Saimaa-ilmiö by the band members of Eppu Normaali, possibly the most popular representative of Suomi-rock substyle. Roughly translated 'reilu meininki' means actions/atmosphere of fairness, depending on the context. The phrase, however, is commonly used as sarcasm: there's very little or nothing fair in the situation that is described with the phrase, e.g. when the rich seem to get richer and the poor poorer, when people in need of help aren't helped but instead kicked in the ass or when a friendly and polite person gets beaten in the line for night snack instead of the bullies fighting with each other. That probably fits some Finns' idea of reilu meininki, but hopefully not the majority's.

***

Finnish keskiolut - also known as keskari, keppana, kepardi, keikyä etc. - is officially translated 'beer having the alcoholic content between 2,8 % – 4,7 % of its volume'. That's the definition from Finnish beer tax legislation since 1988. Usually keskiolut is considered to be, according to the legislation changes coming into effect in 1988, the beer of the 3rd tax class (III-olut, kolmosolut) that had the abv of at least 3,7 % and at most 4,7 %. In Finland beers with the alcoholic content between 2,8 % - 3,7 %, almost like the Swedish mellanöl, haven't been brewed too much because of low sales. 

Since 1969 it's been allowed to sell keskiolut in grocery stores - until then selling beer above 2,8 % abv was strictly limited to Finnish alcohol monopoly Alko and restaurants with appropriate selling right for alcohol. After that, due to its relatively cheap price, keskiolut pretty quickly became the most sold alcoholic beverage in Finland and has been ever since. Since in the 2000's there's variety in the beer styles with the abv at most at 4,7 %, the style of keskiolut can be limited to pale lager. And since even some microbreweries brew mild pale lagers which aren't so cheap, keskiolut can be strictly limited to 'cheap bulk pale lager with the abv of 4,0 %  - 4,7 %'. This last one, of course, is completely my own poor definition and can easily be questioned by people, who don't have anything meaningful to do with their lives and who often find themselves in the middle of a pointless Internet argument with no winners.
Finns' favourite beer?
What does a proper keskiolut taste like? Let's look at the short expert definitions of the keskiolut brands at Alko product pages:
  • Pale yellow, light, mildly hopped, grainy notes (Olvi III)
  • Yellowy brown, tawny, medium full bodied, medium hopped, light malty notes, fruity (Karhu III)
  • Yellow, light, mildly hopped, grainy notes, biscuity, fresh, refreshing (Lapin Kulta Premium III)
  • Yellow, medium full bodied, mildly hopped, light malty notes, fruity, fresh, refreshing (Koff III
Well, what can I say? My notes of "metallic cardboardy malty, dank bitter, near-watery clean, simply forgettable" don't quite match the expert definitions, do they? But that's just me. The majority of beer-drinking Finns isn't on my side. Haven't seen the latest sales statistics, but I strongly presume that at least five most sold beer brands in Finland are traditional keskiolut brands.

I belong to the minority of Finnish beer drinkers, to the group of elitists, snobs, dilettantes, aficianados, hipsters or whatever word you want to use, who aim to get different and even challenging experiences coming from the beer's taste. Not the amount of pints drunk nor the level of the drinker's toxicity, which are the most common measures of beer when discussing the concept of traditional Finnish beer culture. Also, difference, challenge and experience are not the right words to describe reasons to drink bulk pale lagers - easy, simple, cheap and shitfaced are. And because I drink my beers from a glass, because I like differences in the way the beer looks, smells and tastes and because my life is too short for drinking bad beer intentionally, there will never be any keppana reviews in this blog.

***

So, what does the phrase "In Finland we have this thing called reilu meininki" have to do with Finnish keskiolut?

In the aspect of alcohol politics, we are living in interesting times in Finland right now. Since 1969 and bringing keskiolut to grocery stores, it's soon the first time in Finnish history when the parliament votes about raising the abv level of brewery products sold in grocery stores to 5,5 %. And it will be a tough vote. There are other changes coming up in the alcohol law if the goverment's motion will pass, but to raise or not to raise the maximum abv of alcohol products sold in grocery stores from 4,7 % to 5,5 % is clearly the toughest question.

Finnish concept of reilu meininki steps into the picture, when we look at the arguments presented against changing the alcohol law in the discussion. For 48 years Finnish politicians have watched and allowed Finns to turn keppana their favourite alcoholic beverage, raise the total consumption of alcohol with keskari and face the social and health problems that over-consumption of easily drinkable and cheap keikyä causes. Now some politicians are seriously claiming that raising the abv level of alcoholic beverages available in grocery stores with 0,8 percentage points will increase alcohol-related health problems and deaths in the country magnificently. That the nation will change its almost for half a century legislatively guided taste for beer in an instant and the kepardi drinkers will turn to "nelosolut" (= 5,0-5,5 % abv pale lager) drinkers overnight. That the people who've drinked cheap pale lager all their lives will start to buy somewhat more expensive German-style wheat beers instead.

And of course the politicians are correct. People should be protected from free choice between cheap bulk pale lagers and expensive craft beers, since it clearly makes thing worse if people would start to choose one expensive 5,5 % craft beer rather than four cheap 4,7 % lagers. There seriously would be some real problems in the future. Like people thinking for themselves and taking responsibility of their own actions. Probably they would take responsibility of people around them and start to show Finnish reilu meininki by its actual meaning. Sounds painful and 'orrible, doesn't it?

Ölbeat

Keskiolut has an iconic status in the Finnish beer scene, so we'll have to select a Finnish iconic pop song to match it. Since Eppu Normaali has already been mentioned in the text, we'll take the band's most popular track. Initially the song was meant to be parody of the melancholic themes of Finnish popular music. However, even though only viina (booze) is the only beverage mentioned in the song, I would argue that keskiolut has its part in "työttömyys, viina, kirves ja perhe / lumihanki, poliisi ja viimeinen erhe" (unemployment, booze, axe and family / snowdrift, police and the last mistake) of the main character's destiny.

Eppu Normaali: Murheellisten laulujen maa (YouTube)

From the 1982 album Tie vie, the song was written by Martti Syrjä and Mikko Syrjä.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Ölbeat 313: Founders Frootwood

Brewery: Founders Brewing Company
Country: United States
Style: Fruit Beer
Abv: 8 %
@RateBeer
What about the beer?
Colour is light red with a small white head. Aroma has sweet bourbon, vanilla and berry juice. Taste begins with sweet vanilla-spiced cherries. Bourbon-soaked cherries and vanilla caramel malts take over. Towards the end slightly sour, sweet syrupy cherries get the upper hand of the bourbon. Aftertaste has sweet cherry juice and mildly bitter boozy kick.

Sweet, nicely barrel-aged cherry beer. Expected just cherry juice, got gently boozy and softly spicy cherry-flavoured brew. Fruity and strong. Very nice.

Ölbeat

Someone can see the connection between bourbon whiskey and Tennessee, but the fact is that the song just started to play as an earworm while sipping the beer. So there were no options.

Arrested Development: Tennessee (YouTube)

From the 1992 album 3 Years, 5 Months and 2 Days in the Life Of..., the song was written by Thomas Todd and Aerle Taree. (The word "Tennessee" was sampled from Prince's Alphabet Street, 1988, and the unauthorized use cost the samplers 100.000 $.)