Sessio #6 (Mar 2018): Bands and beer brands

This post is a part of Sessio, Finnish beer bloggers' monthly posts on the same topic. The topic is selected by a monthly changing host. This topic was selected by Loppasuut, who will wrap up the Sessio posts in their blog. I will take part in Sessio whenever the subject feels nice and I have time to write a post.

The topic of the month is "Bands and brands". The host gave us some ideas, e.g. to wonder, if a culture or sport brand - an artist/a band or a club, even a movie? - affects the beer's taste, or to write about the rockstar of the beer world, whoever that may be. Thanks for the ideas - I'll follow none of them, because digging deep into the background of the motives behind, say, rock band -labeled beers is far from what I call fun, interesting or meaningful. Most of the band branded beers are made so that the brewers can be laughing on their way to the bank. Examples of those beers can be seen on the photo collage of the assignment post. And that's my five cents on that part of the subject.

Almost. One case seems to have some credibility against almost all others' none. In California, San Diego -based Belching Beaver Brewery and Sacramento-based alternative metal band Deftones have "collaborated" with two India Pale Ales. First one, Phantom Bride, was published in August 2016 and it has become part of the brewery's core range. Second one, Swerve City, saw the light of the day in June 2017 and according to the brewery's pages comes out seasonally. Since the beers haven't been actually available for me, haven't had a chance to taste either one. But they're not just lame lagers or British bollock ales like the usual band-related stuff, are they?  

But what if I could plan a beer for one of my favorite artists? Or even a complete line of beers that actually pays homage to the band? Of course, in that case the branded brews would be top notch hipster sipper stuff, not something you would forget in five minutes. Of course, the band's songs couldn't be stuff that you want to forget immediately if it ever catches your attention. You've probably dropped Maku Brewing as a brewery and Amorphis as an artist from the carriage, haven't you? If not, you didn't understand the two sentences starting with words "Of course".

This blog's most frequent artist choice is Black Sabbath with a total of 12 Ölbeats - 13 songs, because of the two songs with Hel & Verdoemenis - so far. No Skitbits on the list, because I respect their music from both the original lineup (with 12 songs on the blog) and the Dio period (one song on the blog) so much, that I forgive their sometimes complete misses of other singers and lineups. With two exceptions all the beers paired with Sabbath songs are dark, and with two exceptions all beers are "double" or "imperial" level heavy, i.e. higher than 8 % of abv. Mostly dark and heavy with Black Sabbath - call that the element of surprise a lá Ölmönger.

From up left clockwise: Osborne, Iommi, Butler and Ward.

So I select Black Sabbath as the band of my beer brand. The timing is perfect, since the band has officially and permanently disbanded in February 2017. Three questions arise:

1. What are the means for selecting a beer or a line or series of beers - and the name(s)?
2. What kind of beer(s) should be brewed?
3. Which brewery in the world would I select for the job?    

And the three short answers are:

1. The core series would consist of four beers named after the original members of the band: singer Ozzy Osbourne, guitarist Tony Iommi, bassist Geezer Butler and drummer Bill Ward. The beers' names would include the band members first name or the nickname, and a reference to one song by the band.
2. Stupid question. Dark and heavy, of course.
3. Since this Danish brewery has already branded something strongly associated to the music of the selected artist - that something being The Seven Deadly Sins as The Sinner Series - and since with their brews the brewery has proven to actually pay respect to the people they've worked with (like this one), my first choice would clearly be Amager Bryghus. They also usually brew great tasting big beers in big bottles and belong to my top-something-less-than-seven list of breweries, so I believe I wouldn't be unhappy with the outcome.

If there would be time for occasional experiments later, it would be great to get something connected to the albums or the songs, like Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, an Imperial Red IPA brewed with blood oranges and passion fruits, or Master of Reality, a Wee Heavy aged partly in Hendrick's gin barrels and partly in Aberlour whisky barrels. Sounds strangely attractive, doesn't it? But first, let's introduce the ideas and get the development of the core beer recipes started in the Copenhagen-based brewery.

Bill The Supernaut

(drummer Bill Ward & song Supernaut)

Imperial Cascadian Dark Ale (> 8 % abv) with gentle roast and sparkling citrus fruit presence 

Bill Ward was known as an unorthodox drummer with strong jazz influence, which showed out as not just giving a beat for guitar riffs but rather dancing around them and adding power to the gloomy musical landscape.

Got no religion, don't need no friends

Got all I want and I don't need to pretend

Don't try to reach me, 'cause I'd tear up your mind

I've seen the future and I've left it behind

Geezer The Architecht

(bassist Geezer Butler & song Spiral Architect)

Imperial Brown Ale (> 8 %) brewed with coffee and cocoa beans

Geezer Butler was, in addition to a versatile and skillful bass player, the main lyricist during the 1970's - the genius behind legendary lyrics of songs like Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Into the Void and Black Sabbath, among many others.

Of all the things I value most in life
I see my memories and feel their warmth
And know that they are good
You know that I should  

Tony the Lord

(guitarist Tony Iommi & song Lord of This World)

Imperial Stout (>11 %) with strong flavours, sharp edges and a high potential for aging

Tony Iommi was the only original member of Sabbath throughout the band's history, the primary composer of the band and, according to Ronnie James Dio, the ultimate riff master. Probably the most influential guitar player in the history of heavy metal.

Your world was made for you by someone above
But you choose evil ways instead of love.
You made me master of the world where you exist
The soul I took from you was not even missed, yeah.

Ozzy the Warpig

(vocalist Ozzy Osbourne & song War Pigs)

Rye Wine (>10 % abv) aged in Jameson whisky barrels

Ozzy Osbourne was the band's voice of agony and desperation, a singer with a very unique and distinctive voice and ability to hit painfully high notes among soulful and credible interpretation. 

Day of judgement, God is calling

On their knees, the war pigs crawling

Begging mercy for their sins

Satan, laughing, spreads his wings

Ölbeat

So, two of the citated songs (Spiral Architect and War Pigs) have already been paired with beers and other two (Supernaut and Lord of This World) will be left for waiting their turn with something excellent. I selected the song, that I'll hear in the background if any of these ideas will ever turn out as actual brews even close to the description. "Yeah, fairies wear boots and you gotta believe me / I saw it, I saw it with my own two eyes!" And my shrink will tell me: "Son, son, you've gone too far. / 'Cause smokin' and trippin' is all that you do."

Black Sabbath: Fairies Wear Boots (YouTube)

From the 1970 album Paranoid, the song was written by Geezer Butler, Tony Iommi, Ozzy Osbourne and Bill Ward.

Sessio #5 (Feb 2018): Beer travel

This post is a part of Sessio, Finnish beer bloggers' monthly posts on the same topic. The topic is selected by a monthly changing host. This topic was selected by Arde arvioi, who will wrap up the Sessio posts in his blog. I will take part in Sessio whenever the subject feels nice and I have time to write a post.

For this month's Sessio, Arde selected beer travel as the topic. The topic suits me nicely, even though I'm not an experienced beer trekker. That's just the way it is, and that's the way it'll probably be until the end. Just a couple of little flaws crack my snifter and prevent me from being a keen beer globetrotter.

I don't have the money for beer travel. My monthly pay goes to mortgage, electricity, water, gasoline, home insurance, the Internet cable and the waste disposal. Besides that there's the family with different kind of needs: wife wants to decorate the garden and kids have their hobbies. Plus we all eat food bought from the grocery store - no free lunches nor dinners for the whole family. Of course, someone might consider it rude and arrogant to even propose canceling the family holiday plans - or moving to a smaller house, eating cheaper food or lowering the standard of everybody's everyday life - just because Daddy wants to fly to the States alone to have a pint or two of fresh West Coast IPA. And that would be rather justified to think that way.

I don't have the time for beer travel. When the time is divided between work, home/family and sleeping, I wonder that there is any "my own time" at all. Well, of course there is - at it's best even a couple of days in a row. Mostly though, if I have more than 24 hours of idle i.e. non-programmed time, I like spend it with the people I love most: wife, kids, even the whole family, friends, parents and all other than not-in-law people in the world. Spending time in traveling - moving from the place I am to the place I want to be - presents the lowest quality time for me. The shorter the period spent in the target is, the more useless the time spent in traveling feels. In the rare cases where I travel for beer to participate in a beer festival in Finland, the beer is the necessary excuse to spend time with a friend or to do something completely different in the city where the festival takes place.

I don't find beer an important enough reason for traveling. Of course, beer would surely taste better and fresher if it's enjoyed near the brewing place. Of course, the atmosphere for enjoying beer is more unique and original near the home of that specific beer. Of course, drinking beer in various destinations would expand my experiences of beer to something that can't be achieved without traveling. Yes, but still for me it's only beer. I tend to choose the destinations of my spare time trips by the things that can be actually done or that can be seen in the destination rather than checking out the beer scene. If I'm not too enthusiastic traveler in general, why should beer turn me to a keen one? I don't need traveling to fill up some kind of experience vacuum, since the smaller, cheaper and less distant experiences reserve that space well enough. Why should I travel to California or Vermont for any reason, if I can get a better personal experience e.g. while playing in the local swimming hall with kids, working out on the crossbar in a nearby park or riding my bike in a cold, horizontally draining rain? Life without beercations might sound flat and boring, but for me that's simple and happy life.

However, for some unexplainable reason, during the last couple of years, I seem to have learned to enjoy the short moments of my working trips - couple of hours in the evening or the last hour before the train leaves - in a local beer restaurant or pub. Here are some pictures from the visits in this February, so this blogpost won't be totally dry.

Turku, 8 February 2018

    

Radbar - Radbrew Total Blackout Porter

Mallaskukko - Amager Bringer of Summer

Tampere, 13 & 15 February 2018

Konttori - Amager/Barrier The Mortician

Konttori - Wylam Jakehead IPA

Konttori - Amager/Barrier The Mortician (2nd take)

Konttori - Maku/Machine Sea Buckthorn IPA

Helsinki, 19 February 2018

Black Door - Cool Head DDH Ipanema

Black Door - Cool Head CITRACITRACITRA

Black Door - Plevnan Tropic Bomb

Ölbeat

If it wasn't clear before this post, now it is: I don't know shit about beer travel. And I don't want to. I'm enjoying my life here at Land's Edge. And I know the essential difference between the traveler and the tourist.

David Lee Roth: Land's Edge (YouTube)

From the 1994 album Your Filthy Little Mouth, the song was written by Terry Kilgore and David Lee Roth.

Finnish Beer Blog Sessio #4: The Wrap-Up

This is the wrap-up post of my assignment for Finnish beer bloggers' Sessio posts - and especially its execution by the colleague bloggers. So, here are the shortened abstracts of my own and other Sessio participants' posts. Without any more gobbledygook, let's get directly to the business.

As you already checked from the link above, the topic was Finnish vs. foreign beer. What got written about that?

Pick the true Finn from this pack...

Arde arvioi, the good ol' machinegunner of Finnish beer blog troops, started his post by wondering which bad things he could tell about Finland and beer - with a reference to an awful Finn-schlager anthem of being Finnish. Saving us all from already-heard floccinaucinihilipilification (i.e. underestimates), he decides to guide us through to the best parts of beer culture in Finland: the beer bar scene and especially the real ale taps in Finland, the rise and the quality of microbreweries in the 2010's, the quality and demand of Finnish barley, the quality and possibilities of Finnish water and the diversity of beer aficianados. No praise for modern, non-traditional sahti or forest berry beers - I bet no one was surprised. Excellent music choices, when we understand that the first one is meant to be there for contrast.

Helppoa Juotavaa, the honest, direct and untouchable beer rater, started his trek of the decade from the beginning of his beer enthusiasm, when almost everything interesting came outside of Finnish borders. In the middle, during years 2012-2014, Finnish breweries started to pop up here and there, but the quality was a big issue. In the present day, there are still quality issues with Finnish breweries but there are good and trusted breweries available. But even today, the traditional European breweries produce the best standard quality beers. In the end, there's some unnecessary praise for sahti, but some pity points don't save Finland from 0-3 loss in this 3-set match.

Loppasuut, the treacherous part-time wine-sippin' couple, took Estonia as the representative of the world in the beer bout between Finland and the world. First, there was the "Humulus Lupus" set: Finnish Hiisi Humulus Lupus Double IPA against Estonian Saku Antvärk Humulus Lupus IPA - ended as a season-depending tie. Then it's time for the biggest difference between beer in Finland and Estonia: the price, which is remarkably lower in Estonia, especially with bulk lagers. There are more microbreweries per capita and more bottle shops in Estonia than in Finland, so for now the game seems to be turned at Estonia's direction. But the match continues.  

 

Olutkoira, the all-smellin' story-catchin' beer hound, seems frustrated about the lack of knowledge about Finnish beer. There's not so much documented history on Finnish beer brewing in the 1800's. The quality of beers made by Finnish microbreweries seems not to be the thing blocking them from international success of Danish Mikkeller and Swedish Omnipollo - it's rather a question of marketing and image planning. There's not too much analytic writing about Finnish brewing scene and its trends compared to international journalism and blogs, even though there's a lot of people writing and reviewing beers and breweries. Possibly the difference can be explained with the fact that there are only a few people making a living out of writing about beer. Personally, Olutkoira often prefers foreign beers because many of Finnish beers are not of the style he likes to drink - and many of the styles he prefers are well-available classics from foreign breweries. In the end, he thinks that the situation of Finnish beer has gotten a lot better in recent years, thanks to professionals and aficianados in the field.

Tuopillinen, the unprejudiced father of Sessio posts and several other great beery ideas, starts his post with deep thoughts about the definition of "Finnish beer" and the connection of Finnish and nationalism. Buddy, that was your association, not mine. He crushes the idea of sahti as the obvious beer of Finland, because there are similar kind of traditional local brews all over northern Europe and because as a "fresh product" it could never make it internationally. There's no national beer phenomenom - it wasn't born when it could have - and there are no traditional nor modern classic beers made in Finland. There's a similar craft trend going on around the world and the beer styles are similar everywhere. Especially good/bad brewing is not just a Finnish thing, because there are great/shitty breweries (shitteries?) everywhere - the beer importers just work as filters. In the end, the blogger doesn't care where the beer comes from as long as it's good - and that's usually foreign.

Ölmönger, that's me, the disgusting limping yucky taint of beer blog heaven, wrote about the importance of comparing Finnish beer to foreign beer. Why? Because losing the original idea for the post. Really, why? Well, the importance of comparing starts from the longer international tradition in brewing. (Sahti was mentioned.) Especially the Finnish breweries benefit from aiming to the level (= quality = experience = taste) of the world-known great breweries. And basically, there it was.

"On to the next one!" Well, February 2018 is Arde's month. Hopefully the topic has nothing to do with the upcoming Alko artisanal beer period.

Ölbeat

The question between national and international is with beer as with any other subject an unnecessary one. Since language is in most cases separating cultures, I picked one great classic instrumental for this one. Peace.

Santana: Samba Pa Ti (YouTube)

From the 1970 album Abraxas, the song was written by Carlos Santana.

     

Sessio #4 (Jan 2018): Finnish vs. foreign beer

This post is a part of Sessio, Finnish beer bloggers' monthly posts on the same topic. The topic is selected by a monthly changing host. This topic was selected by me, Ölmönger, and I will wrap up the Sessio posts on this blog. Since I'm the host, taking part in Sessio was kinda mandatory.

When I selected the topic for this Sessio - which by the way occurred under the disclaimer "If you're ever forced to host Sessio" when Tuopillinen presented the idea of these postings in fall 2017 - ,  I had a brilliant idea of what I was going to write about. Like most of the brilliant ideas - not just mine - that idea didn't get written down. So I lost it somewhere on the way. And now I'm putting together a piece of crap instead of a quality Sessio post. I'm pretty sure that I'll remember the idea after this continuum of bad excuses is finished but will not write this post again.

Instead, I'm writing about how important it is to compare Finnish beer to its foreign competitors. Why? Because it's the first thing that popped into my head after the actual first idea had vanished and because I have no motivation for looking back at the blog and pick some boring statistics about "what are the differences in the number of styles represented in a) Finnish beers and b) foreign beers". In addition, the Finnish beer fanatics often seem to be pretty critical especially towards Finnish beer and at the same time praising towards foreign stuff. So comparison happens - and it's actually good for Finnish beer.

What's the point of this?

First of all, we have to admit that continuous brewing tradition has lived longer elsewhere than in Finland. Yes, we've brewed sahti in Finland for centuries but why should it count. Sahti is a brew for the freakiest of the beer freaks, and it's only one narrow local style in the world of beer. Based on my very narrow experience, one hell of a style when well brewed, though. Yes, Finland had around one hundred small local breweries from the end of the 19th century to the beginning of the 20th century. But prohibition (1919-1932) basically killed that tradition for decades. After that until the 2000's the Finnish beers were mass-produced pale lagers that represent no brewing tradition whatsoever. So, it's fair to say that there's more experience-based brewing skill outside Finland than in Finland, and based on the common knowledge experienced people tend to have better routine for basic things and therefore better base for experiments.   

Brewing is no exception from other human activities in the sense that there has to be development to keep the activity alive. To keep things developing, it's necessary to aim for better results than those already achieved. What could be better goals than those they've already reached for Finnish breweries? Better sales, of course. Better quality and taste, more critical acclaim, more demand, of course. To deserve a similar reputation of the foreign brewery they secretly admire - or at least a Finland-scaled version of the reputation? Hopefully. To be compared to that brewery in a positive way? "This beer reminds me of my visit to Russian River - just a notch or two missing from Pliny the Younger, I think." No, no one in a Finnish brewery would like to hear that kind of stuff. They'd surely be glad to hear praising like "Not that bad. Almost as good as Karjala." Get the difference? Surely not, but we'll continue.

Secondly, the majority of beer is produced outside Finland. "Oh, really?" Yeah, really, and actually Finnish beer's stake of the world's beer is almost nonexistent. Looking only at the locally produced beer and making comparisons inside that category would be like settling to play football inside a less-than-one-square-meter (< 10,67 sq ft) closet and enjoying it. Even though that's the space where any Finnish men's football team could probably somehow manage, we shouldn't settle for that with beer, since there's a much larger space for the game easily available. If you like watching football, a Champions' League game is much more interesting than a local 4th division match, isn't it?

Unlike in football, since there's a chance for it, international competition is better than just national recognition. Comparing Finnish beer not just to other Finnish beer but also foreign beer helps to consumer to see - or rather taste - what's the actual state of Finnish brewing skill at the moment. For the consumer, only the taste means quality. For the breweries, knowing what's going on outside the country borders, is probably necessary: not just for widening the view for mew ideas but getting some spectrum for developing the process and the quality. And as a no-brainer, also the earlier mentioned tradition of brewing certain beer styles in certain places should offer if not the best but still a rather suitable area for comparison.

In the end, drawing strict country borders for experiencing beer is for assholes. If it's not that clever for a Finn to drink just Finnish beer, the same goes with Belgians, Brits, Germans, Czechs and even Americans. It's allowed to prefer certain countries, styles or even individual beers, but having a pint of something completely different helps you know - not just assume - what you really like. On the other hand, categorical principle for automatically considering a beer good or bad because of the country where it was brewed - "American beers are always better than Finnish ones." - is for assholes. But that's a slightly different story.

So, what does the picture in the beginning have to do with the subject - Finnish vs. foreign? Well, the beer in the tasting glass happens to be a collab brew called We'll Always Have Paris by Sori Brewing and Brouwerij Kees. I enjoyed it one day in Sori Taproom, Helsinki. What about the Finnish-foreign thing with it? First, Sori is from Estonia and Kees from the Netherlands, so the beer is a product of international co-operation. That happens pretty often nowadays. Second, the founders of Tallinn-based Sori Brewing are Finnish, and the brewery is considered to be at least "having the other foot" in Finland, which is at least partly shown true by the fact that their taproom is in the capital of our country. The beer was excellent, by the way.

Ölbeat

Many nationalities mentioned - check. Unnecessary association to football noticed - check. "And if I catch it coming back my way / I'm gonna serve it to you / And that ain't what you want to hear / But that's what I'll do" - check.

The White Stripes: Seven Nation Army (YouTube)

From the 2003 album Elephant, the song was written by Jack White.

Finnish Beer Blog Sessio #4: The Assignment

I am honoured to have been selected as the host of the fourth Sessio of Finnish beer bloggers. Thanks to the previous host at Helppoa Juotavaa! 

Shortly the idea of Sessio is that the host gives the bloggers a beer-related general topic and a couple of week's time to write and publish their post. The participating bloggers - the host, too - write their posts from a point of view selected by each blogger and publish them in given time window. When the time is up, the host wraps the Sessio up and links each post to the wrap-up. Understood? Excellent.

Previous Sessio assignments and wrap-ups (in Finnish)

Sessio #1: Keskiolut * Assignment - Wrap-up

Sessio #2: Beer and sports * Assignment - Wrap-up

Sessio #3: Beer and Christmas * Assignment - Wrap-up

This will be a special - hopefully not the last - hosting, since the language of both the assignment and the wrap-up is English. Most of my Finnish colleagues have naturally their blog in Finnish - as an unnatural freak I selected the modern lingua franca as the language of my blog. This difference was the easy path to this Sessio's topic, which is:

Finnish vs. foreign beer

The background? Like probably in most of the civilized countries in the world, the diversity of beer available and beer made in Finland has grown massively during the recent years. The number of active Finnish microbreweries has more than doubled during the last 10 years. At the same time more and more international beers have come available for the beer drinkers, since the restaurants, online shops, grocery stores and even the Alko monopoly have expanded their selection. Also at the same time, people travel abroad and in Finland for beer, beer events and brewery visits.     

New Year's Eve beers that have nothing to do with the topic

As the nature of Sessio goes, I'm just blurting out the topic without giving any directions about the point of view or the content of the post. 

"So, no suggestions at all?"

Well, giving out a few probably doesn't hurt anyone. Here are some points of view to consider or to be left out of consideration:

• Do you intentionally drink more Finnish or foreign beer? Does the origin of the beer make a difference? How and why?
• How well have Finnish breweries managed to brew internationally acclaimed styles?
• Which foreign beers or styles don't meet their match in Finnish beers? Which Finnish beers beat their international competitors with a distance?
• What has been your best/worst experience with Finnish beer? And with foreign beer?
• What are your thoughts about Finnish beer in the world of beer?

In the end, I'll give you time to write and publish your posts between 24-27 January 2018. The wrap-up will be published by 31 January 2018.

If you aren't sure about your blog's Sessio post being noticed by me, please contact me about your post through Facebook or Twitter or leave a comment below.

Ölbeat

This topic should take the bloggers out of Finland, at least beer-wise. Hopefully, some will even go around the world.

Daft Punk: Around the World (YouTube)

From the 1997 album Homework, the song was written by Thomas Bangalter and Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo.

Sessio #3 (Dec 2017): Christmas and beer

This post is a part of Sessio, Finnish beer bloggers' monthly posts on the same topic. The topic is selected by a monthly changing host. This topic was selected by Helppoa Juotavaa, who will wrap up the Sessio posts in his blog. I will take part in Sessio whenever the subject feels nice and I have time to write a post.

This time the session topic - Christmas and beer - is either very easy or very difficult. First I thought was that it's so difficult to get anything written that I'll pass this round. Looking at the final result I guess I should've sticked with that idea.

Quickly I realized that not having anything to write about Christmas and beer makes writing this post easy: it helps to keep the story short. This is possibly the shortest Ölmönger Special post to date and probably will be that for long.

A completely random beer pic

So, why I don't have anything special to say about Christmas and beer or Christmas beers? Here are a couple of reasons:

1. I don't fancy seasonal beer. Actually I almost always hate it. Christmas beers suck as much in their genre as Easter, summer, Oktoberfest and Halloween beers do. Probably it's the spices, probably it's something else. Don't know, don't care.
   
2. I don't pair beer with food. I rarely even drink beer with food. Christmas food makes no difference. I know that for some people it's important to have some special Rauchbier with ham, some fruity Saison with turkey, something mild with other traditional Christmas dishes and somethind wild with the dessert. But I don't usually drink beer with food, so why should Christmas make an exception?
3. I don't save or select any special beers for Christmas. I don't either have any other yearly scheduled special occasions for having a beer for that moment. Basically, the special moments for special beers are born out of personally important dates or events but I mostly drink all beers - the good, the bad, the ugly, the special - spontaneously, without any other specific reason than having the time and the opportunity to drink a beer.
4. I wouldn't feel like missing anything if I don't drink beer - special or at all - or any alcohol during Christmas season. That doesn't mean that I don't usually but there are other, more important things that make my Christmas. Watching The Snowman with the family. Sauna without any hurry. A moment of inner peace. Christmas meal and its preparations. Getting some gifts and seeing the kids' joy when they open their gifts. Playing board and card games. Basically, having some stopped hurryless time with myself and the family. Probably having a glass or dram or two on the way, but not necessarily.

A moment ago, at 11 p.m. on Christmas night I had some sips of Glen Scanlan, blended Scotch received as a gift. And that could've been my alcohol dose of the day. Awful shit, by the way. So I'm on my way for something better now...

Ölbeat

I have a categorical hatred towards Christmas songs. Specially Christmas songs sung in Finnish. Shouldn't come as a shocking surprise to anyone. Well, most of the songs can just be heard too often during the season. This one breaks the rule because it has a real and timeless message about the Christmas season's superficiality - human race creating a period of piece in the world in the middle of war.

Hassisen Kone: On jouluyö, nyt laulaa saa (YouTube)

Published as a single in 1981, the song was written by Ismo Alanko.

Sessio #2 (Nov 2017): Beer and spectator sports

This post is a part of Sessio, Finnish beer bloggers' monthly posts on the same topic. The topic is selected by a monthly changing host. This topic was selected by Olutkellari, who will wrap up the Sessio posts in his blog. I will take part in Sessio whenever the subject feels nice and I have time to write a post.

Beer and sports? Well, the first association that pops into my head is Paul Gascoigne. Ok, that was awful. Sorry, Gazza. Seriously, English league and division football is the only sport where the thought about having a beer while watching a match feels natural. Damn, I'm forgetting darts and billiards. Anyway, I'm the boring kind of person who thinks that alcoholic beverages don't belong to the sport event stands. Beer culture and sport cultures just don't mix well at the same space.

Being a TV spectator at home or at the pub is a completely different thing, even though I'm not very keen to drink beer while I'm watching a game I'm really interested about. Having a beer or two during the game makes watching ice hockey and football tolerable instead of boring, and getting completely wasted by anything while watching Finland's men's national football team's match is compulsory, since their game is always untolerable pain to look at.

Waiting for tonight's match?

No need to worry, however. I can still write about my favourite ballgame, my favourite club and my favourite players and connect them to my hobby of beer blogging. Sounds like a long journey. It is a damn long journey, so if you want to reach that destination, sit back and relax - this may take a while.

The love for volleyball is probably extracted to my blood when I was born. My father (short as f**k, 1,77 m at his peak) almost made his way to the opening six of his hometown club in the national league in the 1960's - the only thing in between him and playing in the highest level was breaking his ankle during the warm-up. He left the game for ten years - to find the joy of playing for fun again ten years later. 

I was introduced to the game at the late age of 15, but since been playing soccer, badminton, floorball and backyard ballgames I caught the magic of the sport quickly. I (short as f**k, still 1,84 m) never came as close to volleyball stardom as my father because I lack physique, technique, attitude and tallness that being a real athlete would've required. For me, volleyball is and will hopefully very long be the number one sport to play and to watch. If things go well, my next passion in the game will be coaching.

* * *

Vammalan Lentopallo, shortened VaLePa, from Sastamala is probably the only sports club I can say I'm a true fan of. Partly that's because no one dares to admit to be fan of football clubs Liverpool and Bayern München. Mostly because I have a short but memorable history with the club, but we'll get back to that later. Men's team is one of the most successful team in Finnish volleyball in the 2010's so far:

• They got the Finnish championship in 2012, 2014 and 2017, silver in 2011 and 2016 & bronze in 2013 and 2015. (In addition they have two bronzes from 2008 and 1992.)
• They won the Finnish cup in 2012 and 2016 & silver in 2013.

Many previous and present national team players are playing or have played for VaLePa - from active Finnish players at least Mikko Esko, Olli-Pekka Ojansivu, Olli Kunnari, Urpo Sivula, Markus Kaurto and Elviss Krastins. On 12 November 2017, the club made history by reaching the group stage of the highest club competition in Europe, CEV Champions League, as the first men's team in Finland. They won their 3rd round qualification opponent, Jihostroj Ceske Budejovice* from Czech Republic 3 - 0 (25-20, 25-22, 25-15) at home, under the sponsored name Ford Store Levoranta Sastamala. They lost the away match in Czech 1 - 3 (25-21, 25-17, 18-25, 25-20), so the ticket to group stage was awarded to the Sastamala team after 15 - 12 won Golden set. Tight and tough battle but extremely earned victory for the Finns.

The tournament participation asked for some help from the Finnish volleyball community in the form of competition halls, since their home arena Vexve doesn't have the required capacity of 3000 spectator seats. The home games' opponents, dates, times and game venues of Ford Store Levoranta Sastamala in CEV Champions League 2018 group stage are:

• vs. PAOK Thessaloniki (Greece), Tue 5 December 2017 at 7:00 p.m., Elenia Areena, Hämeenlinna
• vs. VFB Friedrichshafen (Germany), Tue 19 December 2017 at 7:00 p.m., Vantaa Energia Areena
• vs. Halkbank Ankara (Turkey), Thu 1 February 2018 at 8:00 p.m., Turun palloiluhalli (Turku Ball Game Hall) 

If you're into some true excitement and world class ball game, those should be the events to attend for you. Unfortunately, VaLePa's qualification games for the Champions League aren't freely available in YouTube, so we'll settle for the 3rd final match of spring 2017, away match against Hurrikaani Loimaa, as the exhibit of the team's strength.

As the most violent thing to do, when discussing Finnish volleyball, I'm almost completely leaving out the success story of Finland's men's national team. In the 21st century, the national team has played in the World League from 2006 to 2016 every year despite the toughening competition. They've reached the European Championship final tournament six times in a row (2007, 2009, 2011, 2013, 2015 and the upcoming 2017 tournament) - with the 4th spot in Moscow in 2007 as the top achievement. They've achieved a place in the World Championship tournament for 2014 and 2018 events - they placed 9th in 2014 in Poland. From the ball games with Olympic sport status these are the 2nd best achievements overall - clearly behind ice hockey - but clearly the best achievements in summer sports. I have admit one previous lie: I'm a fan of the men's national team, too.

* * *

There are only two key players in the national team, who were regulars in the opening six (or actually opening seven since the libero rule) in both the European Championship final tournament in 2007 and the World Championship final tournament in 2014. These two players are, in my opinion, the most successful and skilled two male volleyball players from Finland to date. After they've left the national team due to having played for Finland most of their career, the club they have settled to play for is - surprise, surprise - VaLePa.

Mikko Esko, born in 1978, plays as setter. He was born in Vammala and trained for his junior years in VaLePa. He started his senior career in 1995 in VaLePa. He rose to prominence in Keski-Savon Pateri, where he played 1997-2001 and won the Fiinish championship with the club in 1999. From 2001, he played in several European top league clubs - Generali Unteraching (Germany), Noliko Maaseik (Belgium), Sempre Volley Padova (Italy) and Guberniya Nizhny Novgorod (Russia), to name a few. In the middle of his volleyball career he managed to win two Finnish championships in beach volley in 2001 and 2003.

Esko played in the national team from 2000, as the dominant 1st setter of team during 2004-2014, and has played in 279 games for Finland. In 2015, he returned to his roots in VaLePa and has played there since. Nicknamed simply Mesko, his style and skill of playmaking could earn him some more. The Architect. Magic Fingers. Shameless Conman. Blocker's Worst Opponent. The video below is combined from Mikko Esko's performances in the successful 2007 European Championship tournament.

Olli Kunnari, born in 1982, plays as outside spiker/receiver. He was born in Alahärmä and spent his junior career in the local club Alahärmän Kisa. He started his senior career in 2000 in VaLePa. His career took off in Pielaveden Sampo, where he played 2002-2004 and won his first Finnish championship in 2004. From 2004, he played four seasons in France (in clubs Beauvais and Cannes) and after that one season in Poland, Greece and Turkey each (in clubs AZS Olsztyn, Olympiakos SC and IBB Istanbul, respectively). In 2011, he returned to Finland and VaLePa, and has played for the club since. 

Kunnari started in the national team in 2002 and was a regular opening six player since the beginning until 2015, when he announced his retirement from the national team. I don't know his nickname if he has any, but there are many simple options. Volleyball Genious. Wizard. Trickster. Perfect Receiver. The Setter's Best Friend. In the video below we'll see his actions in Olympiakos Pireus during season 2008/2009 and in the World League 2009 game against Poland.

These two guys won't probably be playing professionally for too many years from now. I sincerely wish that they will crown their careers by reaching the playoffs and, who knows, possibly the Final Four tournament of CEV Champions League this season. Nevertheless, they are excellent role models for Finnish volleyball youth - true athletes on and outside the volleyball court.

* * *

So what about my history with the club? I lived in Vammala/Sastamala for couple of years a decade ago and somehow found myself as the person responsible in the volunteers who arranged the audience stands and advertisements ready for home matches in the notorious hall of Sylvää secondary school, their previous home venue. Not a single home match was missed and I even had the chance too see several away matches during the Vammala years. The finest season then was 2007/2008 when the team won bronze in the league, their second medal overall and first after 16 years.

The personal top moment for the period is easy to pick. I think it was the last home match of the regular season, when the brother Ilkka of the current national team coach Tuomas Sammelvuo, playing for the away team Pielaveden Sampo, said in an interview that every volleyball club chairman in Finland should come to Sylvää and see how a volleyball match event is organized. Being one of many volunteers behind the event and respectin Ilkka Sammelvuo as a player I felt very proud.

Unfortunately for continuing as a volunteer in VaLePa, I got a good job in Pori and moved away from Vammala in 2009. Work, family, hobbies and friends in Pori became so big part of my life that continuing within the club became impossible, and even getting to see couple of home matches per season live has proven to be difficult. So, there has been a small piece of yearning inside the great joy of following VaLePa's success in recent years. I was there for a short stint but the time gave some great memories. I hope that I'd be able to watch at least one of the Champions League games live this season.

* * *

Since this Sessio was about beer and spectator sports, I'll have to create a completely artificial and far-fetched connection between Finnish volleyball, Vammalan Lentopallo, Mikko Esko and Olli Kunnari. But that's basically what I do normally with beer and music, so this is almost too easy.

Of course, I could babble couple of short stories about "Would I rather be a VaLePa match event all-around guy or  a beer blogger?" or "Would I be a beer blogger at all if I would still live in Sastamala?". But, because that would be completely redundant speculation and because the answer to both questions is self-evident, we'll cut that story short.

So, the simple question is: which Finnish beers would I enjoy while watching from TV VaLePa and the two gentlemen play against the top European teams in Champions League? The answer is easy, because I've already given it earlier in the blog. I would choose, from the match opening ceremonies to the final moments of excitement, in this order:

• Mufloni CCCCC IPA 
• Malmgård Barley Wine (preferably aged for ½-1 year)
• Pyynikin Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout 

For those who ask for another option, I offer a familiar picture:

(Didn't make things too difficult, did I?)

Ölbeat

Can't recall what was VaLePa's entry or theme song ten years ago, and don't know what's played this season. But what I remember is that it was mostly some techno-eurodance hits or glam rock tracks that were played during the breaks in the game, so I don't have to care. I picked a song that I listened a lot during my VaLePa years.

Poets Of The Fall: Lift (YouTube)

From the 2006 album Signs of Life, the song was written by Markus Kaarlonen, Marko Saaresto and Olli Tukiainen.

Ölmönger Special: Ölmönger's Calendar for Christmas 2017

A year ago I taunted the idea of a beer advent calendar heavily without remorse. Well, one year hasn't changed me a bit: there will be no self-made nor bought beer calendar with a beer to drink for each of the first 24 days of December 2017. I'll probably enjoy a beer now and then during the month, but they probably aren't so called calendar beers. Occasionally they can be, but that's pure coincidence.

In addition to the commercially available foreign beer calendars (like Mikkeller, To Øl, Saveur Biere, Boxbeers and so on), the one and only Finnish beer shop Pien put together its own beer calendar, that became an instant success and originally sold out very quickly. Despite the cold facts:

• Every bottle has max 4,7 % abv beer -> Question: How about the flavour?
• All 24 bottles are from different Finnish microbreweries. -> Question: How about the quality?
• The beer calendar cost 119 €, i.e. approx. 4,96 € per bottle. -> Question: How about the value for price?

But let's not judge before we know. The fellow blogger at JaskanKaljat will open the calendar doors and rate each beer every day until Christmas Eve. Jaska's blog is in Finnish - so learn some Finnish, perkele!

The one and only true American beer calendar?

Instead of buying the Pien or any other commercial calendar or putting together/making someone put together one of my own, I carefully selected 24 good to great brews from the blog's backlog. The backlog has grown ridiculously long during pretty silent last months, so having an artificial beer calendar is a way to clear it up quickly. The beers in the calendar have been savoured during this fall (August - November), so the calendar could be called "Best of Fall '17" collection.

I don't recommend anyone to drink the beers that pop up in the blog on a daily basis, since the beers are somewhat strong (always over the magical Finnish 4,7 % abv barrier - many times hugely over the magical barrier), and at least I consider drinking one that strong beer daily for 24 days in a row as one form of alcoholism. So, if you like my choices, please save your liver and at least some of the beers for later. If you don't like my choices, stick to the bulk lager you're used to.

That's it for now. The fun starts tomorrow.

Ölbeat

Wise people see beer advent calendars as utter crap. Understandably, some might interpret them as "adults' way of preparing for the season". My advice to those adults, who really need to "tune up for Christmas all December and even October-November" and "let the Xmas spirit flow to every corner of the home and to the neighbours, too", goes: Eat shit and...

Ozzy Osbourne: Bark at the Moon (YouTube)

From the 1983 album Bark at the Moon, the song was written by Ozzy Osbourne, Jake E. Lee and Bob Daisley.

Sessio #1 (Oct 2017): Finnish keskiolut

This post is a part of Sessio, Finnish beer bloggers' monthly posts on the same topic. The topic is selected by a monthly changing host. This topic was selected by Tuopillinen, who will wrap up the Sessio posts in his blog. I will take part in Sessio whenever the subject feels nice and I have time to write a post.

"In Finland we have this thing called reilu meininki." According to modern legend, the popular phrase was first used in the 1981 Finnish rock documentary Saimaa-ilmiö by the band members of Eppu Normaali, possibly the most popular representative of Suomi-rock substyle. Roughly translated 'reilu meininki' means actions/atmosphere of fairness, depending on the context. The phrase, however, is commonly used as sarcasm: there's very little or nothing fair in the situation that is described with the phrase, e.g. when the rich seem to get richer and the poor poorer, when people in need of help aren't helped but instead kicked in the ass or when a friendly and polite person gets beaten in the line for night snack instead of the bullies fighting with each other. That probably fits some Finns' idea of reilu meininki, but hopefully not the majority's.

***

Finnish keskiolut - also known as keskari, keppana, kepardi, keikyä etc. - is officially translated 'beer having the alcoholic content between 2,8 % – 4,7 % of its volume'. That's the definition from Finnish beer tax legislation since 1988. Usually keskiolut is considered to be, according to the legislation changes coming into effect in 1988, the beer of the 3rd tax class (III-olut, kolmosolut) that had the abv of at least 3,7 % and at most 4,7 %. In Finland beers with the alcoholic content between 2,8 % - 3,7 %, almost like the Swedish mellanöl, haven't been brewed too much because of low sales. 

Since 1969 it's been allowed to sell keskiolut in grocery stores - until then selling beer above 2,8 % abv was strictly limited to Finnish alcohol monopoly Alko and restaurants with appropriate selling right for alcohol. After that, due to its relatively cheap price, keskiolut pretty quickly became the most sold alcoholic beverage in Finland and has been ever since. Since in the 2000's there's variety in the beer styles with the abv at most at 4,7 %, the style of keskiolut can be limited to pale lager. And since even some microbreweries brew mild pale lagers which aren't so cheap, keskiolut can be strictly limited to 'cheap bulk pale lager with the abv of 4,0 %  - 4,7 %'. This last one, of course, is completely my own poor definition and can easily be questioned by people, who don't have anything meaningful to do with their lives and who often find themselves in the middle of a pointless Internet argument with no winners.

Finns' favourite beer?

What does a proper keskiolut taste like? Let's look at the short expert definitions of the keskiolut brands at Alko product pages:

• Pale yellow, light, mildly hopped, grainy notes (Olvi III)
• Yellowy brown, tawny, medium full bodied, medium hopped, light malty notes, fruity (Karhu III)
• Yellow, light, mildly hopped, grainy notes, biscuity, fresh, refreshing (Lapin Kulta Premium III)
• Yellow, medium full bodied, mildly hopped, light malty notes, fruity, fresh, refreshing (Koff III) 

Well, what can I say? My notes of "metallic cardboardy malty, dank bitter, near-watery clean, simply forgettable" don't quite match the expert definitions, do they? But that's just me. The majority of beer-drinking Finns isn't on my side. Haven't seen the latest sales statistics, but I strongly presume that at least five most sold beer brands in Finland are traditional keskiolut brands.

I belong to the minority of Finnish beer drinkers, to the group of elitists, snobs, dilettantes, aficianados, hipsters or whatever word you want to use, who aim to get different and even challenging experiences coming from the beer's taste. Not the amount of pints drunk nor the level of the drinker's toxicity, which are the most common measures of beer when discussing the concept of traditional Finnish beer culture. Also, difference, challenge and experience are not the right words to describe reasons to drink bulk pale lagers - easy, simple, cheap and shitfaced are. And because I drink my beers from a glass, because I like differences in the way the beer looks, smells and tastes and because my life is too short for drinking bad beer intentionally, there will never be any keppana reviews in this blog.

***

So, what does the phrase "In Finland we have this thing called reilu meininki" have to do with Finnish keskiolut?

In the aspect of alcohol politics, we are living in interesting times in Finland right now. Since 1969 and bringing keskiolut to grocery stores, it's soon the first time in Finnish history when the parliament votes about raising the abv level of brewery products sold in grocery stores to 5,5 %. And it will be a tough vote. There are other changes coming up in the alcohol law if the goverment's motion will pass, but to raise or not to raise the maximum abv of alcohol products sold in grocery stores from 4,7 % to 5,5 % is clearly the toughest question.

Finnish concept of reilu meininki steps into the picture, when we look at the arguments presented against changing the alcohol law in the discussion. For 48 years Finnish politicians have watched and allowed Finns to turn keppana their favourite alcoholic beverage, raise the total consumption of alcohol with keskari and face the social and health problems that over-consumption of easily drinkable and cheap keikyä causes. Now some politicians are seriously claiming that raising the abv level of alcoholic beverages available in grocery stores with 0,8 percentage points will increase alcohol-related health problems and deaths in the country magnificently. That the nation will change its almost for half a century legislatively guided taste for beer in an instant and the kepardi drinkers will turn to "nelosolut" (= 5,0-5,5 % abv pale lager) drinkers overnight. That the people who've drinked cheap pale lager all their lives will start to buy somewhat more expensive German-style wheat beers instead.

And of course the politicians are correct. People should be protected from free choice between cheap bulk pale lagers and expensive craft beers, since it clearly makes thing worse if people would start to choose one expensive 5,5 % craft beer rather than four cheap 4,7 % lagers. There seriously would be some real problems in the future. Like people thinking for themselves and taking responsibility of their own actions. Probably they would take responsibility of people around them and start to show Finnish reilu meininki by its actual meaning. Sounds painful and 'orrible, doesn't it?

Ölbeat

Keskiolut has an iconic status in the Finnish beer scene, so we'll have to select a Finnish iconic pop song to match it. Since Eppu Normaali has already been mentioned in the text, we'll take the band's most popular track. Initially the song was meant to be parody of the melancholic themes of Finnish popular music. However, even though only viina (booze) is the only beverage mentioned in the song, I would argue that keskiolut has its part in "työttömyys, viina, kirves ja perhe / lumihanki, poliisi ja viimeinen erhe" (unemployment, booze, axe and family / snowdrift, police and the last mistake) of the main character's destiny.

Eppu Normaali: Murheellisten laulujen maa (YouTube)

From the 1982 album Tie vie, the song was written by Martti Syrjä and Mikko Syrjä.

Ölbeats at 300 by Tags: Country

Celebrating the 300 Ölbeats and an uneven number of other stories, Skitbits and stuff, I decided to stop for a moment and look back at the blogposts. How have I spent the virtual space of the blog? What countries and breweries have had the questionable honor to be present on the blog the most? Which artists have gotten the most playing time at the blog?

Have I been unjust towards others - whether we talk about, for example, the styles in beer or music? Well, of course I have: I like IPAs and barley wines more than, say, wild ales and dubbels. I like Iron Maiden and Led Zeppelin more than Finnish evergreens and the crap they call Suomirap.

First in the line are the countries of the beers' origin.

In a stat post you just got to have a histogram, don't you?

First of all, since I don't have a scientific mind or a statistical memory I was surprised of how few countries' beer I have reviewed. The total number of countries is 18. I thought that from the 300 Ölbeats and ten-something Skitbits would include brews from at least 20 countries. But I was wrong. One huge surprise in the countries completely missing from the list is Czech Republic - not one brew from the country that is one of the best known beer countries in the world. I even started drinking beer years ago with Urquell, Budvar and Krusovice. Shame on me! The Irish beers are completely missing, too, but do they really have something else than Guinness? Of course they do, just have to find them.

Another surprise was how unevenly the amount of different beers is divided between the countries. Only Italy, New Zealand and Russia have just one Ölbeat on their belt, other countries have two or more. Spain, Sweden, Poland and Iceland have less than five Ölbeats each. Scotland, Norway and Belgium are 8th, 9th and 10th with 10, 9 and 8 beers, respectively. Denmark is 7th with 16 Ölbeats, while Germany and Netherlands share the 5th place with 18 brews both. These forementioned countries cover roughly only one third of the beers reviewed.

England comes 4th with 24 brews - no surprise, since breweries like Thornbridge and Buxton aren't considered hostile visitors at the blog. United States gets the bronze in the contest - the availability of American brews has gotten better in Finland. The growth in the number of microbreweries in Estonia - and probably my fandom towards a couple of breweries there - gives the country the 2nd place in the contest so far. Estonian, American and English brews make approximately one third of the blog's stories.

Number one shouldn't be a surprise to anyone: Finland. All in all, this is still a Finnish beer blog and most of the beers available in Finland are Finnish. That's the simple reason for the bright yellow jersey in this phase of the race.

However, I think that only one third of the beers in the blog are from Finland. Almost all Skitbits are Finnish, I've reviewed parts of two Alko artisan spring selections of almost ten beers each and I have considered The Flying Dutchman a Finnish brewery. So there is a base for even higher number of Finnish beers. But there aren't. Probably because in this phase of my hobby I'm still curious and willing to taste foreign beers two times as often as Finnish beers.

And this blog isn't a website that exists mainly for promoting the export of Finnish quality brews. Why? Well, that's a good question. Probably since I'm perfectly unwilling to do that kind of shit without decent contract and paycheck.

The best from the biggest

So, what are the three best Finnish beers in the blog so far. We'll have to shortlist first because there have been dozens good ones from Finland. Let's pick the winning trio from these ten:

• Ölbeat 022: Beer Hunter's Mufloni Imperial Stout
• Ölbeat 051: Malmgård Emmer IPA
• Ölbeat 081: Hiisi Pecko Brett IPA
• Ölbeat 100: Mufloni CCCCC IPA
• Ölbeat 136: The Flying Dutchman More Complicated Than Your Girlfriend Stout
• Ölbeat 147: Plevnan Siperia Imperial Stout (2015, stored for 1 year)
• Ölbeat 172: Mallaskosken Black Imperial Rye
• Ölbeat 187: Malmgård Barley Wine
• Ölbeat 214: Hiisi Ikiiurso
• Ölbeat 235: Pyynikin Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout 

In the end, the choice was easy. The lucky three winners, in the order of Ölbeat number, are:

From left: Mufloni CCCCC IPA, Malmgård Barley Wine and Pyynikin BBA Imperial Stout

Mufloni CCCCC IPA got to the podium because of consistency. I've found some differences between the best and the good batches, but it's always a sure, fresh and solid choice.

Malmgård Barley Wine is one of the rare Finnish barley wines and according to my taste, after some maturing, the only really delicious one that has been well available. Have to admit that the first contact wasn't unforgettable but the second one over half a year later was.

Pyynikin Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout strikes directly to the perfect button of a fan of impies and bourbon. Both the beer and the barrel show up in the beautiful flavour. Excellen from the tap, too.

Ölbeats as they were

Mufloni CCCCC IPA

Guns N' Roses: Paradise City (YouTube)

From the 1987 album Appetite for Destruction, the song was written by Guns N' Roses.

Malmgård Barley Wine

Nightwish: The Islander (YouTube)

From the 2007 album Dark Passion Play, the song was written by Marco Hietala and Tuomas Holopainen.

Pyynikin Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout

Cold Kingdom: Let It Burn (YouTube)

From the 2015 album The Moon and the Fool, the song was written by Cold Kingdom.